I originally came across this phrase while reading a post about real moms and their scars that I saw on my FB newsfeed. Then I start to think about how this can apply to almost every other aspect in our lives and that most of the time we’re unhappy, it’s because we’re either comparing to others or to some unrealistically high personal standard/expectation.
Currently I find myself feeling rather down when I see various travel posts/pictures on Facebook and Instagram. It’s not just any travel destination but in particular those in UK and Europe. I really really miss the weather over there.
Then I always think of what could have been. Should we have taken one extra train trip to Salzburg from Munich? Could we have added two more days overall and ventured to Budapest? Maybe we didn’t have to revisit Berlin since I had gone there before? However, HJ had not and in 2012 I told myself that one day I will come back to Berlin and hopefully with my husband. Just like how it was with Siem Reap. In 2010, I told myself I had to bring my future husband to see Angkor Wat and I did in 2015. In 2015 alone, we had gone to so many different destinations – Bintan, Siem Reap, Phuket, Penang, KL, Germany, Prague, Macau. For someone who is still a bit afraid of flying, we really outdid ourselves!
Then I remember the plan was to go back to Germany in June 2016, to explore the Western side if we weren’t expecting Nat. However, the situation in Germany was also not very safe around that time and at 3-4 months pregnant, it was safer to stay in SG. Our last trip was Yangon in March 2016, where I had stomach upset for a week after we came back so that wasn’t a very happy ending to our travels unlike 2015’s experiences where every trip was a good one.
So yes, I get envious of others who can travel to cold, faraway places, which is not very feasible to go with a baby because of the sheer distance and freezing temperatures.
Can I bear to leave Nat in SG alone with my mum?
I don’t think so as much as she’s the next best person to care for him. The #momguilt is very real. So with Nat, we’ll probably explore places near SG for now (after I make his passport).
Then at times like this I have to remind myself that we’re already very fortunate so instead of wishing for things that can’t really happen with a baby, I need to be grateful for what we have been enjoying.
One thing that definitely comes to mind is how every week we somehow manage to fit in time for just 3 of us to go out and almost every Sunday my mum babysits so two of us can watch a movie or have a nice dinner. This and a happy, healthy Nat is enough 🙂